It's been years since I created my Live Journal account. I was in desperate need of a new Live Journal identity, my old one doesn't fit the new me. I have since grown up, wizen-up and gotten married to a wonderful man. Intellectually I am not at all where I want to be. I'm smart, I know I'm smart. I just don't have the drive to finish college and get a job. I could give many reasons why I don't have the drive to do anything professional with my life, but that wouldn't really get me anywhere. Even if I went to college and paid thousands of dollars, I don't know what I would do. The way I see it, by the time I actually had a degree and could go to work in at a good paying job we would be starting a family and I would have to juggle work and family and that wouldn't be fair to myself or my children. I don't know what God has planned for me but I wish He would give me a sign because I don't know where to go from here except Oklahoma.